Archive for October 12, 2010

Another Fucking Food Blog

October 12, 2010 3 comments

Dear Anthony Bourdain;

I’ve talked about this project with my lovely fiancee, and she’s excited, too. Did I just start in media res? I think so, let me back up.  I’m going to cook every recipe from your book, “Les Halles Cookbook: Classic Bistro Cooking“, over the next year. I’m going to recruit assistants to taste, critique, eat and enjoy – but I’m going to cook every one of the 100+ recipes myself. I’m going to start with my first dinner on Monday, Nov 1st, and before we roll around to Nov. 1st, 2011, I’ll make everything you’ve got, even the weird stuff and the game recipes. You claim bistro style cooking is something any modestly skilled home cook can manage, and let me tell you, brother – I am a modestly skilled home cook!

So let’s see, Chef Bourdain, if your recipes and methods match up to your reputation. I love your writing, and I’m a big fan of “No Reservations” which is where I first became aware of your iconoclastic reputation. You’re a funny cat, Chef – you hate things with wild abandon, and then turn around and love things all in the same breath. I figure you’re onto something- draining life’s cup to the dregs and tasting every drop, the bitter and the sweet. So I’m in – and in a year, maybe I’ll have made some great meals, or maybe it’ll turn out your book is a crock, but I’ll probably be a better cook.

My fiancee and friends are enthusiastic about this at the moment, and if that weren’t true, I wouldn’t do it. It takes a mad loner to love to cook only for themselves. To me, that’s not what it’s all about – it’s really all about getting people you love around a table (or leaning against a counter in the kitchen, or in the case of my dog, watching my every move in the kitchen…) and give them something that you think is going to knock their socks off. It’s food; it’s crucial, it’s beautiful, it’s life and love and beauty and art all at once – what better thing to share?

I’ve got a lot of great people in my life, and I hope their enthusiasm for this project lasts till I’m done. If not, I’ll try not to blame you, Chef. I mean really, what do you care about what a middle-aged nerd in Los Angeles thinks? On the other hand, if it turns out amazing and they all rave – I’ll do my best to give you some credit. I’m a decent cook at the moment, with certain glaring weaknesses – principally sauces, really. We’ll see if your words and methods can take someone without any knife skills, without any professional experience, but a decent palate and a love of good food and irreverent writing – and turn them into a decent cook of French bistro cuisine.

Since this is a letter to you, Anthony Bourdaine, I feel obliged to drop an “f” bomb. So fuck yeah, let’s cue up the Ramones, break out the book, and get cooking!

Yours Fucking Truly;


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