Letters To Bourdain

Dear Chef Bourdain;

For the most part, my job is better than yours used to be. Definitely not better than it is, because clearly you have about the best job in the world right now. But I’m talking the 14 hours a day on your feet in a kitchen part. Mostly I sit on my butt doing computer stuff – it’s almost always low stress, pays well, and I like the people I work with. Also, they never threaten to “stand on either side of me, drill a hole in my neck and make their dicks touch in the middle”. Well, almost never, anyway.

But tonight I’m stuck watching a database restore which is as thrilling as it sounds. So that’s why I have time for a second letter in the same day. That’s okay though, since I have quite a backlog of things I’ve made and have yet to report on. It’s just that writing these letters after work, I only have so many hours in the day, you know?

This was the beauty of porc mignons a l’ail, part of the same dinner as the rillettes, steak tartare, and onion soup les halles.

I want to eat this right now.

This one was a real hit. At the time we sat down to eat I was, as previously mentioned, fuddled, tired, stressed and more than a little drunk. But still the sumptuous glory of the pork shone through. It wasn’t terribly hard, either, so I will definitely make it again anytime I want to impress, though it wasn’t terribly cheap, either. But worth it, so worth it.

First I confited some garlic – super easy, though I’ve never actually done it before. I certainly will again. Then I flattened the tenderloins as instructed, and lined them with bacon and garlic confit. I trussed those suckers up like.. well, trussed pigs. I wonder if the pigs the tenderloins came from were ever trussed? If so, that would be a weird bit of fate dovetailing itself on my cutting board, don’t you think? I wrapped ’em up and threw them in the fridge till the next day.

Come the evening, I browned them in a pan, as instructed. At this point, they were really looking good. Observe:

Sweet, glorious, pig dicks. That's what a tenderloin is, right?

The rest was a snap – just time in the oven and then the sauce. I even had that nice demi-glace from way back on stock day. I borrowed a page from Julia Child and froze it in an ice-cube tray, and then put the cubes in a ziploc back in the freezer. Super easy, very convenient.

I served it with pommes puree as you recommend. It was a lovely pairing, and very popular with the diners. One minor gripe, Chef – your cooktime was, as seems to often be the case, a little short. When I brought it out it was rather rare, which most folks aren’t super comfortable with for pork. I had misjudged my timing though, so when I put it on the platter in the oven to keep it warm, I just jacked the temp a little above “low” and it finished nicely.

But you know what was even more amazing, Chef? A couple days ago I put the leftover medallions on an open-faced sammich. Toasted bread, medallions, some of the pommes puree, and a slurp of onion soup as “gravy”. That was just about the best leftovers I’ve ever had, even better than after Thanksgiving. Maybe the Turducken Tacos were a smidge better, but it’s a toss-up and they were both grand.

Definitely a hit, Chef. Rave reviews from everyone, and just as good the day after.

I loves me some pork dicks, Chef.

Davy